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What goal are you going to commit to?
I've only been at this for one month and I'm already seeing results,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. I've seen my stamina increase (I can run further) and I am seeing my speed increase. I'm looking forward to seeing where I'm at come the end of April,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
1. Understand why you're doing it. For my running,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I'm doing it because I want a new physical challenge to keep my mind and body engaged. I am also working very hard at getting more fit since I feel better when I'm in better shape. For your business consider why you do what you do. Why are you embarking on a new project or initiative? What do you want to achieve by accomplishing it?
2. What do you need to do to make it happen? This is a big one. Break the whole goal up into smaller steps. Running 144 miles is a lot and certainly too much for me to even think about tackling. Breaking it down into a smaller, 12 mile a week, goal has made it much less intimidating. In your business many of the projects you take on are big. What can you do to break them down into smaller pieces? One of my favorite questions to ask is: how would you suggest someone else manage the project?
And, my thinking went further because (total transparency here) there have been plenty of times I've made commitments that I have not followed through on. So, why am I following through THIS time as opposed to other times?
At the beginning of February I committed to a new challenge at my gym... to run (or walk) a total of 144 miles over three months. It amounts to 12 miles a week. It was a big commitment for me. I already spend about four hours a week at the gym in classes that I don't want to give up. To add the additional running, it means another three hours a week.
Now imagine if you take these steps to your business. What goal can you put in your sights,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]? Why do you want it? What can you do to make it happen,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
5. Support. I think out of all of them,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], this is the most important. Find a team of cheerleaders who know what you're doing and support you. Also find a mentor, guide or coach. Ask questions when you have them so you don't waste your time or energy running in circles (or in my case getting injured). Use your mentors and cheerleaders to keep you moving forward and leave the naysayers behind.
4. Track your results. As I get off the treadmill, I track how far I went and how long it took on a sheet posted on a very visible wall. Watch your progress and assess regularly to see if you need to make any changes (I'm working towards two 5-mile days and one 2-mile day). What numbers can you track in your business? Are you moving towards your goal? Is your goal still realistic? Are you looking at it regularly?
When I got off the treadmill the other day,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I saw a woman I know. She was involved in a conversation while I was running my last two miles of the week. She made a joke about how she was chatting while I was running. I told her that I needed to log my miles for the challenge. Her response was, "Oh that, I signed up for it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], too,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but I was on vacation last week and this week I've been really busy and..."
It started me thinking,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], what's the difference between her and me? Why am I getting the running in and she's not?
I believe that there are five key components that you need to put in place, to set yourself up for success, when you make a commitment. I am going to relate them here to both my running and your business.
3. How are you going to do it...what's the plan? Let's be real here... just breaking down your goals into smaller chunks doesn't get the work done. I had to create the time to actually DO the work. I broke my 12-mile a week commitment into four chunks (4 miles on Sunday,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], 2 miles on Tuesday,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], 4 miles on Thursday and 2 miles on Saturday). What can you do to structure your time to help you get the steps of your project done? My suggestion to you is to be realistic. Don't make your daily steps so large that you'll find yourself overwhelmed by them. Small progress regularly is more effective than occasional fast bursts.
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Do GREAT work - This may seem completely obvious, but it's definitely worth mentioning. To get happy, satisfied clients, you have to do what you promised, when you promised, to the best of your ability.

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Weddings are the most beautiful and the biggest or in other words auspicious day of our lives,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], therefore we all plan for our weddings long time before. It includes all the preparation from shopping for clothes to the decoration for the house and various other events that take place before the wedding.
Planning for your wedding planners is an exciting thing,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], even if it includes a lot of roaming around here and there,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it takes too long to shop for it from day to night but still you love doing it since it’s your big day. Along with wedding plans comes a lot of fun and enjoyment for the beautiful day. Therefore everyone must take care of even small little things that you can do to make your day a memorable one.
There are many beautiful places where you can also go and make yourself feel that you are in the world you always want to be in and get married at a place of your choice. You can choose to celebrate this big day of your life near a beach,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a beautiful place close to nature and its freshness makes you feel mesmerizing. There are so many other beautiful places where you can reach to have this big day of your life celebrated and make it an unforgettable one. It all depends on your mood ideas and thinking that what kind of marriage you would love to have,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], be it simple or a bold and classy one or even a sweet and romantic would be nice or even a formal one. Just remember one thing it should fit in your budget and yes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], of course any kind or theme or way to getting married doesn’t stop you from carrying out things that way,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], its just that you get to know how much to spend and yet make the event a memorable one for those to attend your big and obviously for you and your partner as god bless both the souls which become one under the eyes of the god.
Before planning for the wedding day you should think of your budget and only after that you should go for choosing what and where you want your wedding to be held because if you do not set a proper budget then you cannot have an estimate of what you will be spending on and how much and thus,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you will lack a lot of things and even their mite be a few thing you may get which will be costly and good but others equally bad,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], also if you do not set your budget you cannot make sure where or on what place you’ll be carrying out the function.
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Do GREAT work - This may seem completely obvious, but it's definitely worth mentioning. To get happy, satisfied clients, you have to do what you promised, when you promised, to the best of your ability.

[yuvsgvoand]

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There are so many more elements that can be incorporated to create a Lifestyle of Romance. Make a list of those things that would make you feel like you're living a life of romance and then begin to implement them into your everyday life.

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Amazingly,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], coffee can actually mitigate back pain somewhat. Studies are pointing to the caffeine found in coffee blocking a chemical named adenosine. Adenosine stiffens your back,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], so drinking coffee will stretch out your back muscles and prevent pain.
Sleep on an appropriate mattress. Most experts agree that a very soft mattress can aggravate pain in your back. A mattress with the right firmness will give support, but not be so hard that it also causes back problems. Be sure to try out mattresses of varying firmness at different stores, so you can choose the right mattress for your back.
Sit properly. Not doing so will put strain on your spine that is not necessary. If you are stuck behind a computer monitor for hours on end,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or especially any other activity that retains your attention to the extent that you become less mindful of posture,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you simply must be sitting in a comfortable and supportive chair. Sitting on an exercise ball can enhance your posture and strengthen your back.
A doctor will be able to help you find a solution if you can describe your condition in details. Ask why you are having the pain, how you can keep it under control, what you can do for relief and what the risks are.
Having a comfortable desk chair is key to reducing lower back pain. Whenever you sit,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you are compressing the discs located in your back. A comfortable chair really can help. Your chair should provide you with proper support,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and it should not stress the lumbar region of your body. Arm rests are also good to help you sit in a correct way.
Back pain is one of the many things that can alter your plans for the day. Use this article's tips when you're struggling with pain in your back. This way,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you can move forward and your back pain won't debilitate you.
It is important that your back is properly supported when you spend a lot of time in an office chair. Inadequate lumbar support will eventually lead to back pain,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Use a pillow that could be placed between your chair and your lower back to give you the extra support you need,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Drinking too much alcohol is not good for you, but some red wine now and then may help your back pain. Wine will relax the tension,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and can also be a sleep inducer in small amounts. Drinking an occasional glass of red wine can be a fantastic remedy for a painful back.
When people go see the doctor because of back pain, there often is really little that can be done. Many times they will be given a prescription and sent home to rest. This article will provide you with several tips that can help you when you are coping with back pain.
Be sure to have the loads switched from one side to the other when carrying heavy items or bags. If you put too much pressure on one side,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], your back will hurt later.
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There are so many more elements that can be incorporated to create a Lifestyle of Romance. Make a list of those things that would make you feel like you're living a life of romance and then begin to implement them into your everyday life.

[yuvsgvoand]

People don’t often make time for enough sleep in their day and this can negatively influence their ability to be intimate. According to the Mayo Clinic, people who have hectic lifestyle, or spend most of their time caring for children or elderly people, often feel exhausted at the end of the day. Make time for adequate sleep and even take naps during the day when you can.
Having a fight or an argument with your spouse will mean that you won’t be intimate at all. This is not a healthy way to enjoy a relationship,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which is why you need to focus on the positives and make it work. Women are more sensitive to emotions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and they value an emotional connection in addition to being intimate, and this is why unresolved conflicts can have a negative effect on your sexual relationship.
1. Fruitful Aphrodisiacs
5,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Boost Your Self-Confidence
8,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Get Enough Sleep
3. Always Take Your Herbs
An unhealthy diet and lack of exercise can cause you to have a poor self-image and can discourage you from having sex. According to Harvard Health Publications you can significantly boost your self-esteem and your sex drive by simply shifting your focus from your flaws to your attributes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Boosting your self-confidence will allow you to enjoy sexual pleasure more often.
Even if you are taking a natural approach to spice up your sex life,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it might be a good idea to consult with your doctor if you feel there are underlying problems. A doctor can help you to find the root of your problems and suggest proven strategies that will work, before resorting to prescription medicines.
10. Consult Your Doctor
If you enjoy the occasional wine or alcoholic drink, just remember not to take it too far. Research has shown that one glass of wine may put your mind at ease and increase your desire to be intimate. However,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], too much alcohol can ruin the mood, and affect your ability to orgasm. Erectile dysfunction is often a side effect of too much alcohol, so keep this in mind when you enjoy your next drink.
6. Cut Down on Alcohol
Life can be stressful sometimes and it’s often difficult to take a break. But according to Harvard Health Publications, women are particularly sensitive to the negative effects that stress can have on one’s sex life. Men can also suffer from stress, although they are able to relive stress by being intimate, and this can cause conflict between couples. Make time to relax and unwind from a busy day.
Yohimbine is an alkaloid found in the bark of a West African tree. It has been referred to as the natural Viagra and some studies suggest that Yohimbine can help you to enhance the quality and duration of an erection. Although there is no natural equivalent that completely matches Viagra,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it’s nevertheless a very powerful stimulant that might just help you in the bedroom.
9. Have a Healthy Relationship
The next time you are enjoying a tasteful dinner, put a little basil or garlic over your food. This smell will stimulate your senses and since it contains high levels of allicin, it will increase blood flow and can help men with erectile dysfunction. Ginkgo biloba is another extract that can effectively treat antidepressant-induced sexual dysfunction, according to the National Center for Biotechnology Information.
As you can see, there are many different approaches to improving your libido. You are free to try one of these natural tips, and monitor your progress. However, if you feel that you have a few problems that need more serious attention, make an appointment with your doctor to discuss your options and find the best way to regain your libido as natural as possible.
Chocolate has been a very popular symbol of desire; not only due to its taste but also because it is considered to improve sexual pleasure. The South African Journal of Clinical Nutrition published an article that says chocolate releases phenylethylamine and serotonin into your bloodstream, and this can produce mood enhancing effects. Eating chocolate is likely more psychological than biological, but its nevertheless a great food to indulge in.
If you want to be more energetic underneath the sheets, prescription medications are not necessarily the only option. Sexual dysfunction affects both men and women of all ages, so you are not alone. Here are a few helpful tips on how you can boost your libido naturally.
2,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Indulge in Chocolate
4. Take Yohimbine
Although there is not a lot of medical evidence to support this,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], there is no harm in trying some of the popular fruit known for their aphrodisiac abilities. Avocados,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], bananas and figs are some of the fruits that you can indulge in. These fruits have vitamins and minerals that might be able to increase blood flow to your genitals, and promote a healthy sex life.
7,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Take Time to Relax
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There are so many more elements that can be incorporated to create a Lifestyle of Romance. Make a list of those things that would make you feel like you're living a life of romance and then begin to implement them into your everyday life.

[yuvsgvoand]

Get excited about it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]! He’ll enjoy receiving much more if he knows you’re enjoying performing,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]!
Foreplay isn’t just for sex! Build up the anticipation to further excite your partner. This particular act is pretty much all about him,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], so rock his world! You can kiss down his body,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], avoiding the penis and scrotum and focusing on his thighs for a few minutes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], kissing them all over and running your fingers or tongue lightly over the skin. If you know your man likes it a little rougher,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], then add more pressure. The point is to allow the excitement to build up before you even touch his package.
Fellatio can be a wonderful way to spice up your sex life! The tips I have for you are gleaned from my personal experience, what I’ve gotten compliments on and that sort of thing. Fellatio (as well as cunnilingus) is often thought of as an act of foreplay prior to intercourse,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which it can be,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but tonight; make it your main event!
Happy Endings,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]!
Variety! Lick him up and down the shaft and around the head of his penis. The best lube is your spit and lots of it! He’ll love the sensation of your wet lips and tongue all over his package. Use your hands too: You can put your hand at the base of his penis and move it in either circular motions by rotating your hand around his penis as you lick and suck the head,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or moving your hand up and down the shaft in tandem with your mouth. The dual and competing sensations will drive him absolutely wild! Just be sure to avoid using your teeth unless you know he’s into it. Teeth are sharp and his penis is sensitive,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], nothing will kill the mood faster than him sitting up and screaming “Ouch” at the top of his lungs.
Don’t ignore the balls or the perineum; these highly sensitive areas are all too often forgotten about when they are just inches away from your face. Fondle the balls as you suck and lick the penis. You can even gently pull them down and away from the body, with the proper technique this will also delay orgasm for a little bit. Use your fingers to massage the perineum (the small strip of skin between his scrotum and his anus) to stimulate the prostate from the outside. This will increase his pleasure and his orgasm will be much more intense for him.
Where and When? Two things need to be discussed prior to you going down on your guy- where is he going to ejaculate? Are you going to swallow it? Would you prefer that he came on another part of your body or in your mouth? What does he prefer? Some women are able to do this from the get go and men love to be able to push it as far as it will go. Many women have an easy gag reflex and though there are techniques that can help ease this if that is your goal,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you want to make sure you both have a clear boundary in line before you’re in the heat of the moment.
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There are so many more elements that can be incorporated to create a Lifestyle of Romance. Make a list of those things that would make you feel like you're living a life of romance and then begin to implement them into your everyday life.

[yuvsgvoand]

Here are 3 personal attributes all bloggers need to maintain a steady flow of interesting content and thus earn the loyalty of those who visit their site,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]!
The path you must take to be considered a good blogger involves a lot more than simply publishing interesting reading material,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]! People who are looking for blogs to read will only show loyalty to a particular site if it continues to produce interesting content over time,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]! This of course will be a test of your genuine interest in the topic you are blogging about and your long term commitment,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]!
Earning the 'regard' of being a good blogger is more a test of your time and effort in producing interesting content for visitors to view! Most people looking for blogs to read only become loyal to a particular site once it proves to be a reliable source! Although creating reading material people enjoy reading is important,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], blogging is a 'process' which calls for the 3 attributes reviewed above! Do you possess the drive and commitment needed to build your site into one of the more interesting blogs to read? Only time and of course your efforts will determine that for sure!
Curiosity
Curiosity may have killed the cat but it only strengthens the blog since your hunger for new information leads to better and more interesting content,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]! Whenever possible it is always recommended to choose a theme with which you have a personal interest,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]! In doing so this will keep you motivated even when you are not seeing many visitors,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]! Additionally the passion you have for your subject will cause you to have opinions since this passion is personal and you therefore feel more strongly about what you write,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]!
When speaking of investing your time,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as the blogging process does indeed require,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you will need plenty of resolve! Although you may have already published some interesting content your readers consider you only as good as your last update! You must continue to produce reading material that captures their interest and this will 'condition' them to return for more of the same! The results you seek will not always be apparent and this is where your perseverance will be needed! Simply stay focused on creating something of relevance and interest so that you can develop the loyalty of your readers!
People always like to now what to expect and when they look for blogs to read they want to know if and when there will be new updates! This is where maintaining a consistent posting schedule will serve to compel visitors to return! Of course they must FIRST consider the reading material you offer to be worthy of their time,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], so stay the course and continue to publish quality posts! Another area where you need to display consistency is by keeping your updates relevant to the theme of your platform! To wander away from the 'original' theme of your blog will cause current readers to simply just wander away and NOT return!
Perseverance
Consistency
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There are so many more elements that can be incorporated to create a Lifestyle of Romance. Make a list of those things that would make you feel like you're living a life of romance and then begin to implement them into your everyday life.

[yuvsgvoand]

Just repeat this silently to yourself over and over and eventually you will start to believe it and feel it,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Stress is unavoidable,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it is a fact or life and although I believe it can and should be managed,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], short term stress is not always a bad thing.
Sometimes it is what motivates and drives us to get things done. That old saying “no pain,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], no gain” is true If we want to grow and develop and be successful it is necessary to stretch our comfort zone and that can cause us feelings of stress.
“you can’t do that”
“you’re a bad mum for wanting that”
“who is going to listen to you”
I’m sure you know that sitting at a desk all day isn’t great for stress management but when the pressure is on and deadlines are approaching you probably think you haven’t always got time for a break. Personally I think if you are feeling stressed and overwhelmed a 5 minute break and a cup of tea (not coffee) will make you more productive. But if you really can’t take a break then find ways to get your circulation going. Sit up straight,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], shoulders back,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], stretch every now and then. Encourage stand up meetings in your office,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], people will pay attention more and the meetings will not last as long so its a win-win. Start to stand up when you make a telephone call and roll up and down on the balls of your feet
When we get stressed our breathing changes and we start to take fewer,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], shallower breaths. Doing this heightens the stress and keeps you on edge. Taking deeper breathes sends oxygen to your vital organs and releases toxins,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], including those caused by stress. It also calms the nervous system and settles those negative thoughts which helps you to cope with anxiety and improve your mental clarity
“I am calm, I can do this”
It is important to drown out your inner critic. We all have one,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it might be your voice that you hear or it might be a parents or ex partners voice. It might be loud or it might be just a whisper. Next time you are aware of that inner critic have an affirmation at the ready to drown it out and to help you stay focused. An example is:
There are lots of ways to manage stress but I’ve given you an ABC of ideas that you can try that take seconds and that you can do even in the middle of a busy office,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
A is for Affirmation
What we think affects how we feel which affects how we behave so if you think you can’t do something you will feel like you can’t do it. Once you feel like you can’t do something,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], that in turn affects your behavior so maybe you don’t even try or maybe you just don’t do as good a job as you could have done if you were better prepared both mentally and physically.
However when we feel stressed it is easy to just let our emotions take over and to start to listen to that little voice in your head that is saying
B is for Breathing
C is for circulation
Next time you are in the middle of or coming up to a stressful situation remember this easy ABC to keep the stress manageable:
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There are so many more elements that can be incorporated to create a Lifestyle of Romance. Make a list of those things that would make you feel like you're living a life of romance and then begin to implement them into your everyday life.

[yuvsgvoand]

Of course if your partner is on salary, overtime cannot be measured in a paycheck. But seriously, you would probably know if longer work hours are actually required at the office. Being aware of suddenly changing work habits may be warranted, especially in conjunction with other signs of possible infidelity. This can also relate to a partner suddenly not having any time for traditional family events because of "extra work" at the office - especially on normal days off.
Business-related travel
What about direct confrontation?
These are some of the signs that you may notice that can indicate infidelity in your relationship. But, in any case, a sudden change in behavior followed by a lack of intimacy is generally a sign that communication between the two of you is somehow breaking down.
Strangely enough, there are many who will allow an infidelity partner to call them at home. You may notice this in the way a phone conversation doesn't "feel right" when overhearing your partner speak on the phone.
A rather sudden improvement in appearance
These days, people like to communicate electronically. Have you noticed your partner staying up extra late and telling you that it's okay for you to go on to bed? This can be a very good sign of illicit chat or email communications.
A relationship with someone else will invariably cause your partner to view you in a different light. Since this, in many cases, is done at a subconscious level,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], your partner may not even be aware that they are doing this. But it can be obvious to you.
Illicit telephone conversations are a sign
More work overtime?
Business travel is one of the most common opportunities to meet with another romantic partner. Even if the business travel is legitimate,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the opportunity is still there. Ask yourself "Are there fewer calls home when travelling on business,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], lately?"
Even if one's relationship is going through a current rough patch,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a direct confrontation, with no evidence, is usually a bad idea. This will only precipitate an argument and possibly bury any evidence that this is,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], indeed the case. If it's not the case; well,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you have just managed to shut down communication even further - which doesn't help any relationship. However, correctly assessing the signs of infidelity,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in its early stages, can be helpful when it comes to saving a relationship.
Computer email usage increasing?
Are you being treated differently?
When you first met your partner,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it was more than likely that they were paying extra careful attention to their appearance. This may have changed a bit over time. However,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a sudden preoccupation with the way one looks when leaving the house can be an indication of trying to attract someone. This is especially true in cases where other motives can be ruled out (trying for a promotion, impressing an important client,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], etc.).
Many of those in a relationship are familiar with the concept of infidelity. However,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the problem can often be one of ignorance when it comes to reading the signs associated with this behavior. Here,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we'll take a closer look at some of the signs that are to be observed when detecting the potential (or on-going instances) of infidelity.
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There are so many more elements that can be incorporated to create a Lifestyle of Romance. Make a list of those things that would make you feel like you're living a life of romance and then begin to implement them into your everyday life.

[yuvsgvoand]

For this overcoming adversity and leadership research, I personally interviewed sixteen prominent leaders in-depth, including - Two Self-Made Billionaires, Seven major company Chairman/CEO's,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Three well-known and respected Guru's, US Major General (Ret.) & Two current U.S. Senators, on how overcoming adversity has shaped them: Dr. Tony Bonanzino, Jack Canfield, William Draper III, Mark Victor Hansen, U.S. Senator Orrin Hatch (R-UT), Monzer Hourani, U.S. Senator Daniel Inouye (D-HI), J. Terrence Lanni, Dr. John Malone, Angelo Mozilo, Larry Pino, Dr. Nido Qubein, U.S. Army Major General Sid Shachnow (Ret.), Dr. John Sperling, Dr. Blenda Wilson, and Zig Ziglar.
This is a short biography of one of the sixteen overcoming adversity and leadership research participants who generously contributed their time and insight for this important research into the true insights of the phenomenon of how prominent successful individual leaders overcome adversity and obstacles.
This is Part II of Senator Daniel Inouye’s story of overcoming adversity:
Daniel specifically noted, “In fact,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the highest compliment paid was when I returned home to Hawaii, and I opened my mouth to see how [my mother] was, she said, ‘You speak like a ‘hoale’!” During his lengthy rehabilitation, Daniel decided to finish college, get a law degree, and then enter into public service.
This time Dan's application to the U.S. Army was accepted. Inouye was bright and eager to serve. “In the military, there was another challenge, or obstacle.” Dan said,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], “I was the assistant squad leader. Then, the youngest person was about two years my senior, and the oldest was about 15 years my senior.” Because these were Japanese-American soldiers who all came from “a society where age makes a difference . . . where elders are looked upon with a bit more respect than the younger ones, it was a challenge. So, I had to work overtime at that, to justify that position.”
This second part of the article about US Senator Daniel Inouye provides an insight into the groundbreaking proven research about overcoming adversity and the relationship it has with "Leadership and Adversity" has received extensive endorsements and enthusiastic reviews from well-known prominent business, political, and academic leaders, best-selling authors, and leading scholars who either participated in the study or reviewed the research findings.
Overcoming Adversity: Turn Adversity into Opportunities:
Senator Daniel Inouye Story [Part II]
This two part article provides an insight into the groundbreaking proven research about overcoming adversity and the relationship it has with "Leadership and Adversity" has received extensive endorsements and enthusiastic reviews from well-known prominent business, political, and academic leaders, best-selling authors, and leading scholars who either participated in the study or reviewed the research findings.
Senator Daniel Inouye's story of overcoming adversity and turning adversity into opportunities is insightful and inspiring and you can read more about him and the full story of overcoming adversity by nine prominent leaders in Dr. Haller's book, "Leadership and Adversity: The Shaping of Prominent Leaders."
You will discover the proven success habits and secrets of people who, in spite of adversity, major health issues or injuries, assassination of a parent in front of you, imprisonment in a Nazi Concentration Camp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], discrimination, significant abuse, or difficult or life threatening challenges shaped their own destiny to become successful, effective leaders.
This is a short biography of one of the sixteen overcoming adversity and leadership research participants who generously contributed their time and insight for this important research into the true insights of the phenomenon of how prominent successful individual leaders overcome adversity and obstacles.
You will discover the proven success habits and secrets of people who, in spite of adversity, major health issues or injuries, assassination of a parent in front of you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], imprisonment in a Nazi Concentration Camp, discrimination, significant abuse, or difficult or life threatening challenges shaped their own destiny to become successful, effective leaders.
Inouye shared that his generation,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], “in Hawaii, [came] from [Japanese-American] ethnic enclaves [who] spoke a strange brand of pidgin-English. So I felt that if I lived in a community where you were literally forced to change your way of communicating, it would help. And it did.”
The full results of this research are presented in a book by Howard Edward Haller,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Ph.D - "Leadership and Adversity: The Shaping of Prominent Leaders,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]," which was published in November 2008 by VDM Verlag Dr Müller AG & CoKG.
The full results of this research are presented in a book by Dr. Howard Edward Haller - "Leadership and Adversity: The Shaping of Prominent Leaders," which was published in November 2008 by VDM Verlag Dr Müller AG & CoKG.
He was promoted rapidly, first to corporal and then to sergeant. Daniel and his unit were sent to Italy to fight. He earned a battlefield commission to second lieutenant while fighting in Europe. In one battle in Italy, near the end of World War II in Europe, young Lieutenant Inouye had his right arm essentially shot off.
This overcoming adversity and leadership research was reviewed and Peer Debriefed by Five Major Leadership Scholars and Best-Selling Authors: Dr. Ken Blanchard, Dr. John Kotter, Prof. James Kouzes, Dr. Paul Stoltz & Dr. Meg Wheatley.
He left the U.S. Army as a captain, returned to the University of Hawaii, and married a Japanese-American girl,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Margaret Awamura. He completed “law school with a Juris Doctorate at George Washington University in Washington, D.C. in just two years,” and then returned to Hawaii, where he “took and passed the Territorial Bar exam.” In 1959 he was elected to the U.S. House of Representatives for the new State of Hawaii, becoming the first Japanese-American ever to be elected to the U.S. Congress. Inouye was elected to the U.S. Senate in 1962, and has been re-elected every six years since then. Senator Inouye is the third highest-ranking member of the United States Senate.
For this overcoming adversity and leadership research, I personally interviewed sixteen prominent leaders in-depth, including - Two Self-Made Billionaires,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Seven major company Chairman/CEO's, Three well-known and respected Guru's, US Major General (Ret.) & Two current U.S. Senators, on how overcoming adversity has shaped them: Dr. Tony Bonanzino, Jack Canfield, William Draper III, Mark Victor Hansen, U.S. Senator Orrin Hatch (R-UT), Monzer Hourani, U.S. Senator Daniel Inouye (D-HI), J. Terrence Lanni, Dr. John Malone, Angelo Mozilo, Larry Pino, Dr. Nido Qubein,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], U.S. Army Major General Sid Shachnow (Ret.), Dr. John Sperling, Dr. Blenda Wilson, and Zig Ziglar.
In spite of the intense pain, he insisted on remaining at the battle scene,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], directing and protecting his troops, though he had tourniquets on his right shoulder and the stub of that arm. He was decorated for his heroism, receiving a Bronze Star, a Purple Heart, and the Distinguished Service Cross. He was also recommended for, and later received, the Congressional Medal of Honor. Lieutenant Inouye was transferred back to the United States to receive treatment and rehabilitation for his wounds.
Senator Inouye told me, “I specifically chose to do my rehabilitation as far away from Hawaii as possible,” because he had always been sheltered. He explained, “I had experienced only limited contact with anything outside my Japanese-American neighborhood.” He wanted to see how other people lived, and became cultured in the ways of the “hoale” [white] world in the process. “I underwent a ‘Pygmalion transformation,’ learning how to formally dine with silver and china, attending cultural events and meetings with as many different types of people as I possibly could.”
This overcoming adversity and leadership research was reviewed and Peer Debriefed by Five Major Leadership Scholars and Best-Selling Authors: Dr. Ken Blanchard, Dr. John Kotter, Prof. James Kouzes, Dr. Paul Stoltz & Dr. Meg Wheatley.
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The Financial Supervisory Service (FSS) announced Sunday that the banks selected the firms on their own criteria for credit risk evaluation, and that they will launch an evaluation of the firms by Jan.

[yuvsgvoand]

1. Have realistic expectations as you set New Year's resolutions you can achieve with goals you can accomplish,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. You may need to scrap your original list and come up with less grandiose aspirations,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Don't beat yourself up for falling short of promises you made to yourself that were out of reach,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Who hasn't made mistakes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]? Take it one day at a time as you revise and come up with a Plan B.
With a new year and a new decade, this is your opportunity to set the tone for this time in your life. However,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if you've tried the tips above and are still feeling the winter blues,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you may have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) or a clinical depression. Consult a specialist in psychological disorders for constructive input about these conditions.
10. To cope with financial issues,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], make plans that won't further impact your budget or credit card debt. In the current recession,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], many families are enjoying activities such as potlucks with friends, visits to local museums, taking daylight walks, borrowing a book from the library. Be creative in your quest for low-cost entertainment.
7. Turn crises into challenges and challenges into opportunities. Use this time to research changes you want to make. Although you can't control what happens, you can control how you handle it. If you're unhappy with your current job,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], consider how to make it more interesting and engaging. Instead of holding on to family conflicts that boiled up over the holidays, let go of your resentments and anger. When you can forgive, you stop feeling sorry for yourself and become more optimistic.
4,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Draw on your strengths. What worked for you before when you were feeling down? What core values guided you as you coped with frustrations and disappointments? Use these again as you face challenges in January and watch your resiliency come to the forefront. Don't hesitate to call upon resources that are there for you.
5. Identify activities that reduce the stresses in your life - then include them in your schedule. If you're a Sandwiched Boomer, these can range from having help with childcare or eldercare to setting aside time to listen to music, read a good book or just do some deep breathing. Get in touch with your spiritual connections for balance and grounding. When you are feeling relaxed and authentically free, you'll be better able to cope with the hassles you face this winter.
It's time for some honest self-reflection. What is currently disturbing you the most? Consider both your physical and emotional reactions. Once you are aware of the real problems, you can begin to identify possible solutions and map out a plan to implement them. Here are 10 tips to help you deal with January gloom and direct your focus to the opportunities open to you.
Have you experienced any of this yourself? Your eager anticipation for the holidays is over, replaced by the reality of a celebration that didn't live up to your expectations. Your clothes are tight from the weight you gained from the parties and winter sweet cravings. Your loved ones are gone and you're feeling lonely. By the end of the first week of January, one-third to one-half of you have already caved in on your New Year's resolutions, leaving you feeling disappointed and frustrated. The credit card bills have arrived and you realize you spent more than you planned. And, with all the holiday lights, you may not have noticed the short days and long nights in December - but now it's painfully obvious that winter is clearly here.
© 2010, Her Mentor Center
8. Express gratitude for what you have. It may sound simple, but as you've heard many times, "Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have." What are the things and people in your life that you are grateful for? You'll find that when you increase your awareness of these positives, you'll be less likely to experience feelings of hopelessness and helplessness.
6. Get support from your family and friends. It was easier to connect during the holidays, but make an effort to follow-up with your social network in January. Share your concerns and validate your feelings or gain a fresh viewpoint. New support and discussion groups as well as community colleges classes generally begin after the New Year. Reach out and join to gain insight and perspective. And don't forget to spend time with friends just for the plain fun of it - laughter is a great tension reliever.
Feeling down in the dumps now that the holidays are over? If you're hoping for something uplifting on these dreary days and cold nights, you're not alone. T.S. Eliot, in The Waste Land, said, "April is the cruelest month." But studies have found that for the majority of Americans, January is the most depressing month of the year.
9. Look outside yourself to those in need. Studies have found that when you perform acts of kindness and giving to those who have less,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you feel happier yourself. Around the holidays,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], numerous organizations send out requests for financial donations but all year they need volunteers to help staff their programs. Consider what best fits your interests, abilities and schedule - then make your contribution with your feet.
3. Establish eating habits that incorporate nutritious foods in well-balanced meals. During the holiday season, women can gain an average of five to seven pounds. Now get back to a healthier diet and smaller portions. Leafy green vegetables with high levels of folic acid and oily fish with vitamin B-12 and omega-3 fatty acids help maintain an upbeat mood. Foods like Brazil nuts are rich in selenium, needed to produce serotonin.
2. Commit to an exercise plan you will continue. Physical activity can release endorphins, reducing your stress level. Studies show that 30 minutes of brisk walking reduces depression for several hours. A regular exercise routine can also play a part in weight reduction and better sleep patterns. Plan to include some outdoor daytime exercise to take advantage of the natural light outside.
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The Financial Supervisory Service (FSS) announced Sunday that the banks selected the firms on their own criteria for credit risk evaluation, and that they will launch an evaluation of the firms by Jan.

[yuvsgvoand]

The Grand National Party and the Millennium Democratic Party have agreed on a lineup of regular activities for the National Assembly's autumn session. The gist of the agreement reached Monday between the GNP's Lee Kyu-taek and the MDP's Chung Kyun-hwan calls for reducing the regular session to 30 days,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in light of the December presidential election and holding a three-day televised hearing on the government's handling of public funds from October 7 to the 9th. They also decided to carry out Assembly audits on government agencies from September 16th to October 5th.
(Arirang TV)相关的主题文章：


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The Financial Supervisory Service (FSS) announced Sunday that the banks selected the firms on their own criteria for credit risk evaluation, and that they will launch an evaluation of the firms by Jan.

[yuvsgvoand]

The Ministry of Justice (MOJ) unveiled on Tuesday a draft bankruptcy bill for businesses and individuals,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], integrating the current three disparate laws on corporate failure,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], composition and liquidation.
The ministry said it would hold a public hearing Wednesday to collect opinions on the draft. It said it is scheduled to present the bill to the National Assembly soon,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], so that the bill could take effect in the second half of next year.
The draft bill introduces a new law on individual rescue programs,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], aimed at private bankruptcies and at writing down personal debts. The bill would also allow self-employed business owners to apply for the bailout program if their unsecured debts stand below W300 billion.
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The Financial Supervisory Service (FSS) announced Sunday that the banks selected the firms on their own criteria for credit risk evaluation, and that they will launch an evaluation of the firms by Jan.

[yuvsgvoand]

 Childhood - certain irrational fears are developed in childhood. Children who grow up to be self sabotaging usually come from a dysfunctional family. This is not always the case. When a parent is critical of the child, the child will most likely internalize her critics’ perception of her and apply it to herself.
 Low self esteem - the individual does not have much confidence in his or her capabilities. They often think that they are not good enough or worthy enough for success and happiness.
 Generalized anxiety - some individuals suffer with generalized anxiety without known origin. The individual imposes limitations on his or her activities due to fear.
 Some underlying psychopathology that is not diagnosed.
 Need to conform - social acceptance.
 Difficulty coping with change.
 False self perception with regards to capabilities,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
 Self-fulfilling prophecies.
The above list is by no means exhausted, but at least it gives you an idea as to some of the widely accepted contributing factors.
The Ambition Stagnator and Dream Killer: Procrastination
“The greatest barrier to success is fear itself” Sven Goran Ericksson
Excerpt from Paulet Biedermann’s book, “Your Best You”
The mind is one of the most complex components of the human body. The more we discover about humanity and the human psych, the more we realize how little we know. If you should confer with anyone that studies the mind, or work with mental, behavioural or emotional issues: Psychologist, Psychiatrist, Theorists, Counsellors, Therapist or Sociologists, they will tell you one thing, and that is, that they have not fully grasp the way in which the human mind works.
The behavioural pattern, thinking process,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], cognition, social interaction and just about anything and everything that concerns humanity’s functionality is not fully understood. The one thing that I am sure that most researchers will agree on, is that regardless of the discipline,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they will all agree on the complexity of the human mind. Yes, it is indeed complex. We have learned a lot about the human mind and how it functions: its resilience and vulnerability. Researchers continually make valuable break-through with regards to how our minds work. Nonetheless, there are still more work to be done.
There are certain individuals that suffer from personality disorders. And to take it a bit further,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you need to know that some of the people who self sabotage do have consciences and often are not in these groups. Please note as well that it can sometimes be the case that some individuals are suffering from dual or concurrent disorders. For example, the person who self sabotages can be depressed or suffering from Borderline Personality disorder or some other emotional or mental disorder, for instance, depression, low self concept/ esteem. This is not unusual in our patient population who suffer from emotional or psychological disorders.
According to Psychologist Dr. Nathaniel Branden,” if at the core I don’t feel worthy of success or happiness, I most likely will not attain it and even if I do, I am unlikely to enjoy it.” When a person feels that he or she is not deserving of success, then self sabotage is inevitable. This is one way of ensuring that you are not successful.
Even though the focus of this article is fear of success, a true picture cannot be given without also defining fear of failure. What exactly are we talking about when we refer to Fear of Success and Fear of failure ? Even though very different, they manifest similar signs and symptoms. For our purposes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we will define both phrases,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but the bulk of our focus will be on fear of success.
A) Fear of Failure is defined as: An unfounded and irrational fear that one will not succeed. These individuals are very critical of themselves. They avoid taking risks and when they make a mistake, instead of trying to give it another go, they confirm to themselves that the mistake is proof that they are not capable.
B) Fear of success is very complex than having an unreasonable fear of failing. Research has shown that fear of success is closely related to procrastination as well as the state of one’s self esteem. A good part of this condition is subconscious. Therefore not easily identified or treated without professional help. Along with the varying signs and symptoms, theorists and researchers have offered a wide range of causative agents and as well as treatment modes. Mental Health Practitioners usually employ a combination of methods while guiding the individual to self explore. Together they not only identify the signs, symptoms and contributing factors, but as well, treatment management and or therapeutic interventions. As you can see based on the above definitions; Fear of success is a lot more complex than having an unreasonable fear of failing.
As you may have noticed, most of the signs and symptoms related to Fear of Success include but are not limited to: procrastination, stress, anxiety, negative self talk and distorted views. The following interventions are geared to helping you to successfully eliminate these unwanted pests and regain control of your life.
1. Identify Specific signs and symptoms of your fear for example, anxiety and work towards eliminating them.
2. Relaxation Techniques-breathing exercises
3. Affirmation
4. Countering negative self talk
5. Visualization: relaxation, guidance,
6. Self hypnosis
7,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Meditation
Signs and Symptoms of “Fear of Success”
Make the Change: Defeat The Fear of Success:
Some contributing factors to “Fear of Success”:
1) Procrastination - the individual does not fulfill his obligation in a timely manner. Keeps avoiding scheduled activities and sometimes wastes time on insignificant things,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
2) Inability to make decisions. Does not trust herself.
3) Distorted thinking - the person misinterprets reality in a subjective way.
4) Low self worth.
5) Distrust one’s judgement. Lacking in confidence with regards to one’s right to happiness.
6) Self limiting aspiration/undermine his or her abilities.
7) Diminished self value.
Pessimistic life views.
9) Distorted “other view” or world view. (For instance, may see the world as a very dangerous place-without evidence.)
10) Generalized anxiety.
11) Self sabotage that manifests itself in various ways and will sometimes encompass some of the above,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
12) Self sabotage that manifests itself in various ways and will sometimes encompass some of the above.
Be aware of your emotional reaction.
Fear of success has a lot of signs and symptoms that are associated with it. Some are emotional while others are physical. One key component is the emotional reaction to certain stimuli. It is imperative that you are aware of this and learn adaptive ways of dealing with stimuli. It is not an emotional problem but has an emotional component. One revolving door for the individuals who is afraid of success is this: Procrastinate –consequence-anxiety-procrastination-consequence-anxiety. By understanding, the trigger for anxiety is procrastination it allows you the opportunity to prevent the consequence by eliminating the behaviour.
Counter negative self talk
Negative self talk is part and parcel of the fear of success syndrome. You are very critical of your self and quite often it is totally unmerited. You convince yourself that whatever your internal critic tells you is gospel and therefore you buy into the negativity. There are several techniques to counter negative self talk. One of which is positive self talk. Here is an example, Joe’s critic constantly tells him he is a looser; he believes he is and without evidence to back up his critic’s claim, and behaves accordingly. Joe would do well to tell these critics to back off.
Always see the glass half full.
Researchers have found that people whose out look is positive seem to enjoy a lot more benefits than the negative pessimistic people. They are happier, less prone to illness, both psychological and physical. Even though someone may spend his or her entire life looking at things negatively, he or she can turn that around and start thinking positively. This most likely will be challenging at times but persevere and you will reap the benefits.
Create a master plan for your future:
There is nothing more rewarding in life than setting your goals and attaining them. Just like a business plan, you would not start a business without making a business plan; would you? If your answer is yes, then you are setting your self up for failure. Ensure that you include goals for three months, six months, one year, three years, five years and up to ten years. This is not only something to guide your actions, but a very powerful motivator as well.
Raise your self esteem:
Low self esteem is a spin off from fear of success. Self esteem and self confidence are often tied to accomplishments. When your self esteem is low, it’s hard to feel good or accomplish much of anything. You often feel inadequate. You need to realize that self esteem plays a major role in the choices and decisions that shape your life. Just like low self esteem allows you to devalue yourself and your capabilities, a healthy self image is very powerful in helping to shape your outlook and your decisions.
Become a bounce back artist:
Failure is not always a bad thing. It only becomes a defeat if you don’t learn from it. Each time you don’t succeed, it helps you become stronger,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], more experienced and more resilient. Always bear in mind that life is about ups and downs, rising and falling. Each time you fall, you become more resilient; unless of course, you decide not to get back up.
Give thanks for every success no matter how small:
A lot of people often forget to give thanks, but it is a very crucial endeavour to always remember to give thanks. Some of the benefits of giving thanks are: it helps to increase your confidence, others are more eager to help you, it also brings with it a sense of joy and satisfaction.
Strengthen your coping skills:
The way we cope with stressors is on an individual basis. Even though we may be faced with similar situations, we cope quite differently. We learn to cope with situations from childhood that is when we learn our various coping strategies. Sometimes we are not exposed to the best coping skills but we can learn adoptive ways to cope and this is why the self help industry has flourished..
In closing, there is hardly anything that is more empowering than taking responsibility for your life and the important decisions that need to be made with regards to your wellbeing. Passivity and dependence are not the way to go. These are extremely disempowering and stifling. Just think for a moment,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the joy, the satisfaction and the pride you feel when you are successful. This is evident even in the smallest accomplishment. Self sabotage is a classic symptom of fair of success but is totally manageable with some basic intervention.
Visit [link widoczny dla zalogowanych] and sign up for our free news letter , receive useful information to help you on your journey of CHANGE.
sign up to follow author Paulet Biedermann on twitter,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. @yourbestyou1
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The Financial Supervisory Service (FSS) announced Sunday that the banks selected the firms on their own criteria for credit risk evaluation, and that they will launch an evaluation of the firms by Jan.

[yuvsgvoand]

Recently I made a trip to the supermarket, and was delighted to be able to help an elderly couple with some of shopping’s little snags such as pulling the trolley out and reaching for higher goods. They reminded me of my parents, and I so wanted to go home with them. As we chatted, the woman said to me” “Don’t get to be 85, it isn’t fun, I am not sure I signed on for this”?
My response was “Well I think I did sign on, and it is inevitable, unless I die sooner”. And there lies the whole dilemma of ageing. How we view it, how we traverse it, and what psychological and spiritual work we need to do for this stage of life to be fulfilling for each of us.
My generation of Baby Boomers is currently caring for ageing parents and facing up to these issues. We have such a wonderful opportunity to view our world differently.
I was recently talking with a friend about the care of her ageing mother,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which she is doing in her home with occasional help from other family members. The thing she said that affected her most was the overwhelming nature of the care needed for a person in the end stages of life. The vulnerability of the person is not just something that needs care but reflects deeply on the relationship between this woman and her mother and the life they have spent together. Accepting this passage of life as inevitable, can be firstly an intellectual and emotional stumbling block; simply because, “I want it to be otherwise”.
The mind somehow doesn’t want to see, or ruin, our memories of a once vibrant mother, with all her faculties in place, cooking for family gatherings, loving us and our partners, welcoming the new members of family, somehow above the petty squabbles, and vying for top dog in the family hierarchy. She just kept loving and accepting.
And here we are faced with a woman who can no longer do these things and needs our care. To bath, to dress, to have food on the plate and get to appointments in that big wide world;
To be able to have this be a time be full of wonder and joy, as well as coming to the deep emotional understanding of our own ageing process and finally death, has taken many of us to new places of understanding and a kind of liberation of who we think we are. Yes we are left with orphan status when our parents pass on. But it is much more than that.
The opportunity for a forgiving and almost innocent relationship is on offer. As the older person relinquishes the world, and has less and less interest in the things that held a focus in the past, a new more inward looking, sometimes subtle, change occurs.
It is at this time, from my experience and talking with others that the care can change from the physical to a bringing forth of the joy and innocence of “remembering”, and this may look childlike.
But it is I think the natural remembrance of where we came from in the first place. And a longing can set in for the passing on to occur. This looks to us like acceptance.
Or it can look a little like a sort of dementia, where the person has one foot in this world and one in another.
The readiness for this major event is natural.
However it can be aided by our acceptance, standing back, loving, helping and just being present.
While we miss and grieve for those who are passing or have passed, this is not about us. It isn’t about hanging on, to the physical,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], trying to get the status quo to remain or blanking out what we don’t want to happen. This is only fear of our own reluctance to face our own mortality, and can be looked at square on and released without much to do.
Recently I spoke about the joy of meditating with friends not just with acquaintances,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and this I mentioned is particularly important with the elderly and those readying themselves to pass on.
Lastly I want to mention the role of forgiveness, which is something that often starts to happen naturally for some older people, and can be encouraged in storytelling and journaling, about their life. All lives have the wonder of history and therefore interest of ongoing generations.
But here I want to mention the forgiveness work necessary for the carer to feel free of burden, worry and anxiety about the future, and their part in the demise of the elderly. The outcome would be the acceptance of death and passing on as an occurrence of inevitability. The love with which we do this is up to us and takes using the processes of forgiveness on a daily basis. We are not separate entities but totally connected to each other on a plane of knowledge that because the elderly,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], having done their worldly duties, is now opening up to and being revealed in unique ways not to be missed.
It takes seeing the elderly as whole and innocent,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], seeing beyond the body, with the eyes of spiritual wonder to the empowering knowledge that a life well lived, whatever it has looked like is what it is, and is to be loved.
Death is a profound human experience. As someone approaches death their emotional and spiritual needs are as great if not greater than those of their bodies.
As we age and as a society we have become more obsessed with quality of life it is only natural that we start to scrutinise what constitutes a good death and how we might improve the inevitable,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Once a subject shelved at the back of our minds never to be spoken of, death increasingly concerns us.
Many who work in palliative care, hospice setting encourage people into conversation around death and dying. To help people consider fears and choices around the inevitability of dying and death.
As one hospice worker said, “We try to risk manage fires and earthquakes, but we don’t prepare for our own death.
Becoming acquainted with death and the release of the fears,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], trepidations and denials of this occurrence enhance our appreciation of life. The revolution in bedside ritual of the dying has bought in much to strengthen the emotional and psychological support given. Sometimes in the form of forgiveness , memoirs of a life looked back on, letters to the future generations. Gratitude and celebration of the life well lived
A new learning has entered this ritual where the person is encouraged to release and share stories. To let go of close loved ones while sharing the love that underpinned the relationships. To forgive what might appear to be unhealed complications in families, where to the person transitioning these memories are now no more than perceived hindrances.
It is possible to pass over with love and equanimity. The lost art of caring for the dying encompasses a holistic approach that lessens the sense of helplessness a person might feel,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Death is not the end of a series of medical events or tragic accidents but a profound human experience.
We are moving toward love and away from our collective fear and in so doing regaining the art of listening to the dying in a metaphysical sense as a well as being practical in the here and now,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran, On Death
“You would know the secret of death. But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heath of life? The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light. If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life. For life and death are one, even as the river and sea are one. In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond; and like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring. Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity. Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honor. Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king? Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling? For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun? And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered? Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing. And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb. And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.”
What is Death
” Death is the cessation of the connection between our Mind and our body.”
Although intellectually we all know that one day we shall die, generally we are so reluctant to think of our death that this knowledge does not touch our hearts, and we live our life as if we were going to be in this world forever.
As a result the things of this world – such as material possessions, reputation, popularity, and the pleasures of the senses – become of paramount importance, so we devote almost all our time and energy to obtaining them and engage in many negative actions for their sake. We are so preoccupied with the concerns of this life that there is little room in our mind for genuine spiritual practice. When the time of death actually arrives we discover that by having ignored death all our life we are completely unprepared.
What is death?
Death is the cessation of the connection between our Mind and our body.
Most people believe that death takes place when the heart stops beating; but this does not mean that the person has died, because his subtle Mind may still remain in his body. Death occurs when the subtle consciousness finally leaves the body. Our body is like a guesthouse and our Mind like the guest. The Mind is neither physical, nor a by-product of purely physical processes,( the Mind is not the brain) but is a formless continuum that is both a separate entity from the body and at one with the body. This paradox allows us to know the Higher Mind while living in the body. When the body disintegrates at death the Mind does not cease.
Although our superficial conscious mind (the daily chattering mind) ceases, it does so by dissolving into a deeper level of consciousness, the very subtle mind; and the continuum of the very subtle mind has no beginning and no end. It is this mind which, when we spend time and effort to understand and let go our worldly attachments, including fear, anxiety,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], misery and the idea that material goods and societies pressure to live with prestige will make one happy. The transition of death can be made easier through an active forgiveness of self.
Some people do it by actively gathering friends and loved ones around. Others do it by themselves. Still others do it long before the last stages life knowing that dying to grievance and arising to the life of forgiveness, daily, affords us the ease to pass over without the baggage of fear.
Peace of Mind
Peace with my heart Peace, my heart, let the time for the parting be sweet. Let it not be a death but completeness. Let love melt into memory and pain into songs. Let the flight through the sky end in the folding of the wings over the nest. Let the last touch of your hands be gentle like the flower of the night. Stand still, O Beautiful End,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], for a moment, and say your last words in silence. I bow to you and hold up my lamp to light you on your way. ~Rabindranath Tagore
Meditation is possibly the very way to remove fear; fear of dying, of getting old, of any of bodily preoccupations. All the great spiritual traditions have meditation as the key factor in their teaching. Meditation is a time honoured technique, one of human civilization oldest spiritual disciplines. Helping with the release of expanded consciousness and beginning the process to understanding yourself not just as a self-centred identity, separate from those around you, but as the shining light you are. Knowing yourself as connected to God or cosmic consciousness. This experience can be totally transforming. You go from thinking you are just a body competing with everyone around you, frightened that the world is treating you badly, to an experience of union and peacefulness much the same as the sages and saints. You begin to understand that death is non-existent, and you have nothing to fear. What some people see as an end is really a transition or a beginning, not a termination.
The true self cannot die, because it is the all-pervasive cosmic universal consciousness. It is because of the practise of meditation that these ideas can be experienced and the fixation on the body or small ego self is loosened. This then begins the process of understanding suffering. The identification solely with the perishable body leads to the idea of annihilation as it is without expanded experience.
You must venture into new territories in order to rid yourself of the fear of dying. Meditation is a clear way to get to know your-self as more than a body. It will take you beyond the automatic conditioned responses programmed by anxiety, desire, hatred, prejudice and social conventions to a new clarity where you will feel more appropriate and freer.
Meditation creates a kind of mental distance between you and mental activity so you can observe it. As you become more aware of the deeper aspects of yourself you start to see and feel thoughts and feelings coming into existence,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. And so it is easier to see these are not the essence of you.
Meditation begins to eliminate the obstacles of mind that prevent clarity of consciousness. Mindfulness not mindlessness is the hallmark of meditation. You expand awareness not eliminate it. You move beyond the limited ego self to reveal your true self which is in union with the cosmos or God and therefore is deathless.
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